I will come Crying Back and gain more Trauma when he has moved on and I am nothing to him anymore.

When my mood stage passes and I feel the cloud lift away from me, I will come crawling back to him and he might refuse. This new friend would have replaced me and I will be alone again, and it will be all my own fault.


Why can't I kill myself? How is it so that I am depressed yet cannot kill myself? I don't want to die, that's why. I am not TRULY DEPRESSED. I AM POSSESSED BY AFUCKING EMOTIONAL DEMON THAT EXISTS AT THE CORE OF MY FUCKING SOUL AND DRIVES ME TO BLEED HUMANS DRY OF EMOTIONAL ENERGY. FUCK YOU.

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You completely lost it these last few days. Like, completely off the rails. You know why it happened so don't let it happen again. How many times have I had this conversation? Too many, that's how man