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(idk) sash in bed.... Being 'special' to someone

The 'logic' behind the thought process is as follows:

If someone extremely special to me treats another person or persons as special, then I am no longer special to them.

It is based on my assessment that the 'special' status is only applicable if unique, roughly in line with the definition of the term.

As such, I cannot accept that I am special to aforementioned someone, if someone else also shares that status; or I perceive them to also receive the status.

This often manifests as;

If this someone has other friends they like a lot, they don't like me because I am no longer special to them.

This conclusion results in extreme jealousy, rejection anxiety and anger - towards both the person and their other friends.

The extent of the emotional responses to anything I perceive as compliant with the above assessment is extreme. It is overwhelming and I am completely at its mercy.

This is destroying my friendship with someone who is extremely special and important to me. I believe it is a flawed mentality, yet I remain powerless to overcome it.

That is my predicament.

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I'm laying here in bed. Typing on this convertible tablet, in tablet mode. I am thinking of all the negative things going through my mind. There are many. Let's begin. You may have noticed the title.

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