There will be no thinly veiled message within this post, linking a video of Far Cry 3's main villain explaining what the definition of insanity is. Instead, there will be me typing this right now as a tear falls down my cheek, as I listen to aggressive, dark, depressing metal music.
That message is simple.
I can't have friends. I can't make friends. I can't be within groups. I can't be within communities.
How many times must this message be repeated. How many times must this script play itself out before I finally learn? Maybe I am just that fucking stupid.
I like to compare my affliction to a demonic entity. Angry, hateful, full of bitterness and resentment. Latching itself upon my soul and injecting corrupting hatred into the very core of my being.
Some days I just want to embrace it. To turn around, face the beast directly and simply smile. This is the way it is. Run with it.